OK, this is great.
Warning: Be sure and pee first before you read this……
Life as a child growing up in Texas…
Author Unknown
Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40-horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down?
Tough sumbich..
Got this in my e-mail this morning from my aunt, and had to share it with all of you (this was forwarded to her by someone else – it’s just one of those funny stories):
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday, my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
March 6th is a very important day in Texas history, as it is the day that we commemorate the fall of the Alamo, a pivotal event in the Texas Revolution which was the beginning of the end of Mexican rule.
A dear relative, who I just love to pieces, passed along an e-mail to me today. While the intent of the original is well-meaning, I really and truly feel that a lot of people today jump in with both feet before they think about what they are proposing. Here’s my response –
I just have to jump in and put in my $.02 worth:
The “original” e-mail is from a “West Coast Friend” – think about that for a minute. Does this original e-mail sound like something someone who has run a business would be suggesting, or something that some hippy-dippy tree-hugging trust fund baby who has never owned a business thought would be a groovy idea?
This is just my feeble attempt at fictional humor, egged on by a friend’s Zombie stories. Not being from the South, he failed to realize that what I wrote was sheer White Trash poetry.
It isn’t often that one can read a literary “masterpiece” that combines the Circle K, moonpies, RC Cola, mullets, and White Rain in just a couple of paragraphs….
I told him I managed to make a “best of” here – I included all of the hackneyed cliches of the Southern trailer park in 250 words or less:
We took Rebecca to see “Gnomeo and Juliet” last night, and it was very good – a blend of William Shakespeare meets Elton John. We saw it in 3-D, and Rebecca kept reaching out to try and touch everything. She was giggling the whole time.
Mr. TiFW and I had fun catching all of the “Shakespearean” references – the “Rosencrantz and Gildenstern” Moving Company truck; the “Out! Out!” line followed immediately by another character saying, “Damn Spot!”; the “Verona Lane” where they lived; the abandoned “Lawrence” property where they can meet on neutral territory; etc. It was all very cleverly done.
This is a recycled post from another blog that I wrote –
Mr. TiFW and I went to see this movie recently:
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May I just say that Jason Statham is yummy?
Well, since I’m the one throwing together this shindig, I guess I can….
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Hard to believe that Daughter #3 is getting ready to graduate from High School – where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday, they were placing her in my arms, and now she’s ready to embark on a new chapter in her life.
We went and ordered Sarah’s Senior portraits today – Paul’s wallet is considerably lighter, but that’s OK. We have some really beautiful reminders of what a lovely young lady our little girl has become.
I wanted to share them with you:
The Fat Lady Has Sung
