This is just my feeble attempt at fictional humor, egged on by a friend’s Zombie stories. Not being from the South, he failed to realize that what I wrote was sheer White Trash poetry.
It isn’t often that one can read a literary “masterpiece” that combines the Circle K, moonpies, RC Cola, mullets, and White Rain in just a couple of paragraphs….
I told him I managed to make a “best of” here – I included all of the hackneyed cliches of the Southern trailer park in 250 words or less:
….Meanwhile, Bubba Wayne and Darlene had locked themselves in the Circle K, so as to avoid becoming zombies themselves. After feasting on moonpies and RC Cola, they rummaged around on the shelves until they found what they were looking for.
Not knowing if they would make it through the rest of the long night, they wasted no time in divesting each other of their bib overalls and getting down to business.
Bubba Wayne filled his hands with Darlene’s ample breasts and started to feast. Darlene arched her back in avid delight and held Bubba Wayne’s mullet-shorn head tightly to her heaving bosom. Her hands moved down his body to grasp his firm flanks, well-muscled from days spent working in the fields.
A soft gasp escaped Darlene’s mouth, open in unspoken ecstasy to reveal her three good teeth. The gasp became a moan when Bubba Wayne used one of his hands to reach up and roughly grab a handful of Darlene’s hair, until that moment held in place with a liberal application of White Rain hairspray….
BTW, no – I am not writing a story; my friend was writing vignettes about people dealing with zombies. I decided to write a little vignette of my own – his were much more serious; I was feeling a bit peckish…. 😉
Nice to know that all of those trashy historical romance novels/bodice rippers that I’ve been reading all these years were good for something, huh?