The Man Behind the Woman

Posted on March 4, 2020 by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

 

As most of you know by now, I am in North Carolina helping out with my Mom and Dad during Mom’s last days.

Everyone has been so nice – sending prayers and thoughts to the family, and telling me how wonderful it is that I am here doing so much for both of my parents.  Thank you so much for that.

However, there is someone else just as deserving of your praise.  Were it not for my incredible husband, Paul, I would not be able to be here.  Paul has gone above and beyond back in Fort Worth, taking care of all of the business at home so that I can help take care of things here in North Carolina.

Poor guy – I hadn’t been gone very long and he, Rebecca, AND Sarah all came down with the flu!  It’s hard enough when one family member gets sick, but when there isn’t any back-up, things can get pretty miserable rather quickly.  Fortunately, we have wonderful friends who were able to pitch in and help out at home.  We are truly blessed.

I think the longest time that we have been apart without seeing each other is 4-5 days whenever Paul has to go out of town on business.  There was a 2-month stretch back in 2015 when I had to be in the hospital due to a medical emergency, but Paul was able to visit every day.  So far this time, we have been apart over two weeks, and we are both missing each other.  Fortunately, Paul and Rebecca will be coming for a short visit next weekend.

They always say that behind every successful man there is an equally important woman, but I am here to tell you that behind this “strong” woman, there is an amazing, strong, indispensable, funny (and handsome!) man – my favorite fella, and the most wonderful husband in the world, Paul.

I am so incredibly lucky.

 

Posted in Family, Inspirational, Just Because, Love | 1 Comment

A (Not So) Super Tuesday

Posted on March 3, 2020 by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

 

Mom entered hospice today.

She woke up and announced that she wants to go.  Things are starting to deteriorate a little bit more quickly now – she is asking for pain medication more frequently, she is more uncomfortable, she is sleeping much more, and tonight I am noticing that her breathing is starting to become more labored.  She is having swelling in her arms and legs, and she is virtually unable to move her body without significant help.

Family members have been apprised of the situation and are making plans to get here when they can.  Both of her sisters have other family members in the hospital right now, so I am scrambling to figure out how to set up something to allow them to see each other from their various vantage points.  Our respective technologies are incompatible with each other, so we are going to have to be creative.

Dad and I are just marking time.  His 88th birthday is on Friday – it will be his last one with Mom.

I am doing what I can to make sure that Mom is comfortable.  Being here with her 24/7 has allowed me to stay on top of most things in a timely manner, but we are entering new territory with the pain angle.  Hopefully we will continue to manage things as quickly as possible.  The staff at the care center have been an immense help.

The end is on the horizon.  I’m not ready for this, but Mom is more than ready, and that is what allows me to hold it together for now.  Her journey is almost at an end.

I am blessed to be able to help her see it through.

 

 

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Nearing The End

Posted on February 27, 2020 by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

Mom is tired.
She told me tonight that she is ready for Hospice.
She says that she will probably see Michelle first, then her mother, then Bev.

I can’t imagine a world without her in it, but she is ready to go.
I promised her that I would be strong.
Being strong means letting her go.

Please, God, give me strength.

Posted in Family, Love | 3 Comments

Thoughts In The Middle Of The Night

Posted on February 20, 2020 by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

 

 

It is true what they say – as you get older, you progress from a child to the parent of your own children, and then one day you find yourself parenting your parents as their bodies and minds become frailer.

My mother is at that stage now – her body is becoming weaker due to the ravages of cancer.  She has done well up to this point, but she fell at home last week and was unable to get back up – her legs would not support her any more.  She is now in a hospital bed at an assisted living facility, and she will probably not ever be leaving that bed.

Four years ago, she was the one helping me when I found myself confined to a hospital bed for two months following intestinal surgery.  I now find myself drawing on that experience to give her suggestions on how best to reposition herself to find a comfortable place to rest.

I remember how utterly exhausting it was just to turn over in bed, and how many “steps” it took to do something that I had done almost mindlessly before the surgery.  I find myself uniquely qualified to empathize and to help her get from point A to point B.

The major difference between then and now is that I was on the road to recovery, while she is on a decline.  She is finding it harder and harder to do things.

I had forgotten how hard it is to THINK when you are laid low by disease – so much energy is spent just thinking about how to do the most basic of movements.  By the end of the day, there isn’t any juice left to make decisions; you quite literally find yourself telling others to just do whatever they think is best.  It’s very frustrating.

I remember how incredibly comforting it was to know that my mom was going to be there in that hospital room with me every day; that everything was going to be okay, and that she would be able to get me the things that I needed.  I remember how utterly lost I felt when she had to go back home after so many weeks by my side, and how she stayed an extra week because both of us instinctively knew that was what I needed.

And I know that I will now be able to provide that peace of mind and spirit for her, for as long as she needs it.

I know that our time together is coming to an end.  I see her looking off into space, and I can tell that it is “different” from ordinary daydreaming.  She told me yesterday after one of her naps that she thought that she had passed over to the other side.

I know that she is slipping away, and I am so very thankful that I can be with her on the final leg of her journey.

Posted in Family, Just Because, Love | 1 Comment

The Story So Far

Posted on February 19, 2020 by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

Mom has finally(!) given me permission to tell everyone what is going on.

Last August, she was given a diagnosis of Stage 4 (metastatic/terminal) lung cancer which had already spread to her lymph nodes and bones. She decided not to undergo any further treatment, choosing instead to enjoy whatever time she had left.

We have been fortunate that she has had six relatively good months since her diagnosis, but her body is starting to tell us that the end is near. Mom was moved to an assisted living facility last week, and we are in the process of enlisting hospice care for her. Paul and Sarah are holding down the fort at home in Texas so that I can concentrate on caring for both of my parents on the final leg of this journey.

I am currently staying with Mom 24/7 so that Dad can be free to take care of things in town and around the house, as well as getting some much-needed rest. Mom is comfortable right now, and I am cherishing every moment that we have left together.

Posted in Family, Feelin' Sorry for Myself, Growing Old Sucks, Just Because, Love | Leave a comment

Bittersweet Moments

Posted on February 18, 2020 by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

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When time is short, and you are blessed enough to be able to be there for the ones who have been there for you since the beginning of your life……

I am so thankful.

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Posted in Family, Growing Old Sucks, Love | Leave a comment

The Best (Belated) Valentine’s Day Ever (a.k.a. “Boy Meets Girl”)

Posted on February 16, 2020 by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

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Just a couple of kids…..

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It all started in a lecture hall at Texas A&M University in January, 1979. Yours truly was a freshman who started out in Pre-Med, but after one semester – and a tearful call home – I had decided to change my major to one which involved more math – Civil Engineering.

Well, the powers that be in the Engineering department told me that the Calculus class that I had placed out of as a Science major wasn’t really “the same as” the one they wanted Engineering majors to take, so I had to start all over again. I hadn’t changed my major until the spring semester started, so I missed the first “official” day of that class.

The next time that class met, I was sitting in a seat in the lecture hall, feeling quite lost since I didn’t know the professor’s name, office hours, etc. Some guy came in a little late to the class, looking all harried, and sat down in one of the few empty seats – right next to me.

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Valentine’s Day, 2020 – A Little Romance

Posted on February 14, 2020 by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX


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Because today is a day of romance, I thought I’d share one of the best renditions of “My Funny Valentine” that I’ve ever heard – Michelle Pfeiffer’s version from the movie “The Fabulous Baker Boys”:

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Hope you have a great day with the one you love!
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Posted in Annual Posts, Broadway/TV/Film, Foodie Friday, Holiday/Patriotic, Holidays, Just Because, Music | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

“Rhapsody in Blue” (2019)

Posted on February 12, 2020 by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

rhapsody in blue 3.

Well, I went playing on YouTube again, and this time I ran across several versions of one of my favorite orchestral pieces, George Gershwin’s quintessentially classic American composition, “Rhapsody in Blue“.

Rhapsody in Blue premiered in an afternoon concert on February 12, 1924, held by Paul Whiteman and his band Palais Royal Orchestra, entitled An Experiment in Modern Music, which took place in Aeolian Hall in New York City. The version that was heard then was for a 24-piece jazz band, not for full orchestra. This was the original arrangement of Gershwin’s masterpiece.

Gershwin had agreed that Ferde Grofé, Whiteman’s pianist and chief arranger, was the key figure in enabling the piece to be successful, and critics have praised the orchestral colour. Grofé confirmed in 1938 that Gershwin did not have sufficient knowledge of orchestration in 1924. After the premiere, Grofé took the score and made new orchestrations in 1926 and 1942, each time for larger orchestras. Up until 1976, when Michael Tilson Thomas recorded the original jazz band version for the very first time, the 1942 version was the arrangement usually performed and recorded.

I, too, had only ever heard the big symphonic version but a few years ago, I ran across an amazing Big Band arrangement that brought a big smile to my face. And a couple of days later, I ran across the “original” jazz band version, which I found I like very, very much.

The complete piece is 16 minutes long, so if you don’t have time, don’t feel that you have to listen to all of them; you might want to sample a bit of each one and come back to them later when you have more time. I think you will probably find that, like me, you end up enjoying all of them on their own merits.

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Posted in Classical, Contemporary, I Love America, Just Because, Music | 1 Comment

Perceptions

Posted on January 24, 2020 by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

Many years ago, when the girls were much younger, I ran across a wonderful book called “Many Moons” by James Thurber.  It is the story of a young princess who falls ill one day after a “surfeit of raspberry tarts”.  The Royal Physician sends for her father the King, who tells her that he will get her anything that her heart desires.  The princess tells the King that if she can have the moon, “I will be well again”.

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