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“What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.” – Lord Melbourne
“We voted for these people. We should be allowed to taser them.” – Mike
“If you’re standing around talking about doing away with fossil fuels while pointing at an electric vehicle that’s about 70% synthetic materials, you’ve already failed an IQ test you didn’t even know you were taking.”
“Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire.”
“They’re not ignorant. They’ll tell you all about what they know.”
“You guys just don’t spend enough time giving yourself cool but limited super-powers. This is the internet.” – laura w.
“Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it.” – Thomas Paine
“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as judge in the field of truth and knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods” – Albert Einstein
“They can pass a law to say anything, but reality gets to bat last.”
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” – Edmund Burke
“The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted.” – D.H. Lawrence
“If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.” – Thomas Paine
“God doesn’t call the equipped – he equips those he calls.” – Barbara Curtis
Always remember: Law is about arguing one fact that helps your argument and ignoring the ten facts that disprove it.
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument – William McAdoo
“Hand-written notes in cursive writing are still the finest personal way of saying thank you. The people who send those after interviews are the ones who get the jobs.”
My Mild-Mannered Alter Ego:
The Fat Lady Has Sung
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Category Archives: Humor
Why Does This Thing Keep Blinking “12:00”?
If any of my children were stand-up comics, I would be giving them plenty of material to use in their act. I used to laugh at all of those comedians who told stories about their parents and grandparents not being … Continue reading
Anyone looking for a part-time job in Austin?
. . Wendi Aarons has a job opportunity for someone with a strong constitution: …The Movie Chaperone will be responsible for meeting Mrs. Aarons and her two (2) children at the theater. He/she will then wait in line for popcorn … Continue reading
In which the Granddog acquires a new nickname….
We’re gonna start calling her “Jaws”….. (I swear, that dog hasn’t met a Barbie doll of Rebecca’s that she didn’t like…..) .
It’s what Dads do
Several years ago, one of the kids’ dumber-than-dirt cats ran up the neighbor’s tree and wouldn’t come down. Meowed piteously for a couple of days. The girls were almost in tears, thinking about their poor little kitty up in that tree. Finally, they … Continue reading
Adventures in Library Science
I’ve been doing this job (parenting) for 8,925 days, and I still suck at it. You’d think with all of the on-the-job training I’ve had, I would have figured things out by now, but noooooo – it’s always something new, and … Continue reading
Why my children never let me go anywhere unattended…..
I had my semi-annual teeth-cleaning today. My dentist is a cool guy – he and I have a running “rivalry”. He knows I’m an Aggie, so he ALWAYS puts me in his “Longhorn” room for cleanings. Well, I got him … Continue reading
Growing Up In Texas (Author Unknown)
OK, this is great. Warning: Be sure and pee first before you read this…… Life as a child growing up in Texas… Author Unknown Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. … Continue reading
Banned from Target
Got this in my e-mail this morning from my aunt, and had to share it with all of you (this was forwarded to her by someone else – it’s just one of those funny stories): After I retired, my wife … Continue reading
Darlene and Bubba Wayne Get It On at the Circle K
This is just my feeble attempt at fictional humor, egged on by a friend’s Zombie stories. Not being from the South, he failed to realize that what I wrote was sheer White Trash poetry. It isn’t often that one can read a literary “masterpiece” … Continue reading
Texas Declares War on the USA
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. “Hello, President Obama,” a heavily accented southern voice said. “This is Archie, down here at the Joe’s Crab Shack in Houston, Texas. I am callin’ to tell ya’ll that … Continue reading
Koch's Tour 