Miracle (Cream) on Ice

Say goodbye to expensive creams, lotions, and pills – Senator John Kerry may have found the elusive “Fountain of Youth”!  (And no, it’s not “Rub Heinz Ketchup on your face”…..)Remember this?

At the 2012 State of the Union address, poor “Mr. Athletic Politician” (and his staff) was telling anyone who would listen that those bruises under his eyes*** were due to a fall he took while playing ice hockey sometime around New Year’s Day.

Yeah, right.

Then, pictures surfaced from two weeks earlier, of Mr. Kerry wearing SUNGLASSES at an indoor meeting with Mahmoud Abbas while on a trip to the Middle East.

Well, lo and behold – the most recent pictures of one of the richest men in Congress show remarkably smoother skin under Mr. Kerry’s eyes.  It seems that the tumble he took on the ice somehow removed all of those bags and wrinkles!

Who needs Obamacare?  Now, we have “HockeyCare”!

See ya on the boards…..


***I’m still trying to figure out how he could have “fallen” in such a way as to get perfectly symmetrical bruises on ONLY the outer/lower edges of both eyes while doing NO damage to that huge schnozz…..


About Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

A short, fat, middle-aged, happily-married, mother of 4 daughters. A former high school valedictorian (way back in the Stone Age), a Civil Engineering major in college, a middle-of-the-road Conservative, and a moderate Methodist. I know just enough to get myself in trouble....
This entry was posted in A Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy, Elections, Humor, Liberal Nonsense and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Miracle (Cream) on Ice

  1. I don’t think he fell. I think the ice rose up and whacked him.


  2. Sal says:

    LIke when TCM’s host Robert Osborne took two months off for a “much needed rest”.
    He did, indeed, look very rested when he came back. Especially his face.
    Love him, but just be honest, okay?


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