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Wendi Aarons has a job opportunity for someone with a strong constitution:

…The Movie Chaperone will be responsible for meeting Mrs. Aarons and her two (2) children at the theater. He/she will then wait in line for popcorn while simultaneously pulling the two (2) children away from the “Postal Assassin” video game in the lobby and explaining to them why they’re not allowed to buy hot dogs cooked by a pimply concession stand worker. The individual is then expected to escort the two (2) children into the appropriate theater and find three seats that are a) not too close to the screen or b) behind a large man whose size prompts the children to scream that they “totally can’t see because of this stupidhead’s big stupid head” and kick his seat until he threatens to call an usher and have them ejected….

(h/t to Wendi Aarons – This blogger always makes me laugh – it’s nice to know I’m not the only one whose kids are…well, kids!)