WARNING TO WOMEN!!

All is Vanity (2).
Some of you may have already been warned of this…..

You’ve heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else’s thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

.
fat-baby-legs.
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.

Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My bum was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier.

.
saggydiaper.
But my new bum was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I’d have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched.

One morning I was drying my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary – my body was being replaced one section at a time.

.
flabby-arms.
What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.

.
TurkeyNeck_Editorial.
Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those ‘plastic’ surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something ‘lifted’, look again – was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Boobs_HungLowO.
P.P.S. – These same thieves came into my closet and shrank my clothes! How do they do it????

.
Tight Jeans.
TRUE STORY 😉

Thought this was too ‘important’ not to pass on. Have a wonderful day – with a joy filled heart.
.

About Teresa in Fort Worth, TX

A short, fat, over-the-hill, happily-married mother of 4 daughters. I know just enough to get myself in trouble....
This entry was posted in Growing Old Sucks, Humor, Just Because, Things That Make Me Crazy. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to WARNING TO WOMEN!!

  1. reiuxcat says:

    Not an exclusive problem to women, trust me. 😉

    Like

  2. And this is why I wash my hair with Dawn now. It cuts excess grease 😀

    Like

  3. Mom says:

    Sarah asked me one time why my upper arms jiggled like jello.
    Just wait until all of these young people who are being tattooed get older and have to deal with all of this – will be funny to see all of that wiggling.
    Good blog – we can all relate.
    Love,
    Mom

    Like

Leave a Reply (Please be nice - my mom reads my blog!)