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The “It Gets Better” Pledge: Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are.
I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbors.
I’ll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work.
************
A video recently came to light over a speech that was given by Dan Savage to a group of students as part of the National High School Journalism Conference in Seattle.
In this speech, Mr. Savage clearly demonstrated why he isn’t asked to speak at many of these conferences:
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His parents must be so proud.
I’m guessing that Mr. Savage will find that a lot of his invitations to speak to high school students are going to be rescinded as a result of this stunt. No parent wants to find out that their child has been cursed at by someone who is purportedly there to give a speech about how wrong bullying is. And no school wants to be sued by parents who are upset that their child was exposed to the kind of behavior exhibited by Mr. Savage.
For someone who started an Anti-Bullying group to help gay teens get through those very difficult adolescent years, it is ironic that he doesn’t recognize that what he said in that speech was bullying of the same sort.
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What is also ironic is that he doesn’t seem to realize that he lives in one of the most tolerant nations in the world. The fact is that most Christians don’t have a problem with people who are homosexual as long as they don’t constantly “insist upon themselves“.
He doesn’t appear to realize that he is doing real damage to the work done by those members of the LGBT community who have fought very hard to be accepted by society at large.
That old saying, “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” still applies, as outdated and corny as it may seem.
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Our daughter, Michelle, is gay.
It’s been an interesting journey – one that has been harder for me than other members of our family. I have never stopped loving her – it would never enter my mind. I carried her under my heart for 9 months; I felt her move within me – that is a bond that can never be broken.
That’s not to say that I didn’t grieve, though. And I know that it was hard for Michelle to watch as I went through that process. I remember her saying once that she didn’t understand why I “accepted” Rebecca’s Down syndrome “so much easier” than another daughter being gay. I told her that I guess I must have hidden how I dealt with Rebecca’s diagnosis better than I realized….
There is a grief process for some parents when their kids come out to them, and the later in a person’s life that they make that announcement, the longer that grief process will probably take.
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Michelle had a wonderful counselor at her high school who was able to explain to her that by the time that a person is comfortable enough to “come out” to friends and family, they have already gone through that process themself. However, they forget that when they finally DO come out, the person that they are telling will be starting that process from “scratch”.
By the time that Michelle finally told us that she was, indeed, gay, she was a teenager, and she had spent many years insisting that she WASN’T gay. Well, when someone tells you that they aren’t gay, you kind of build that into the tapestry of how you think of that person. When they come back later and tell you that they ARE gay, you have to take the time to pull those threads out and replace them with new ones – the more “threads” there are, the longer it’s going to take to “replace” them.
I had to ask Michelle to be patient with me – thankfully, she has been. She’s a great kid, and I am very proud of how well she has handled all of the stuff that has come her way. I know that she has been instrumental in helping other people of her acquaintance who are wrestling on their journey of coming out. She is a gentle soul, and people turn to her for advice quite often.
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One thing that she absolutely will not tolerate, however, is people who act out or deliberately confront others in order to draw attention to the fact that they are gay.
It’s so funny to hear the exasperation in her voice whenever someone like Mr. Savage acts like he did at this conference.
When she left for college, one of the things that she did was to seek out the LGBT group on campus. She was telling me about this one time when she was home on Christmas break – about how frustrated she got with the more militant members of the group who went out of their way to deliberately provoke a response from people in the general public.
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What really ticked her off, though, was when they would get indignant and huffy because people usually wouldn’t react to them unless/until they got really outrageous in their behavior. And then they would get indignant and huffy BECAUSE people got upset at their over-the-top behavior, to the point that they would blog about it, trying to get people to agree with them that these people were homophobic.
And her reaction to that was, “Well, if I saw you guys acting like that, I’d be upset, too – and I’m GAY!”
She kept trying to explain to them that most people are fine with things as long as you aren’t in their face about it, but there were some in that group who seemed to like the drama. She quit hanging out with them as often as she had at the beginning of the school year; she still stands up for gay rights, but she knows that the best way to get people to accept her is to just quietly go about her business.
As she says, being gay is part of who she is, but it doesn’t define her – it’s just a part of the whole package.
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I don’t know what Michelle thinks about Mr. Savage’s speech – I haven’t asked her, and she probably has better things to do than to peruse political blogs (unless they talk about snakes…).
I’d kind of like to think that she might say something along the lines of, “Didn’t your mother ever tell you that when someone invites you to come over, you make sure that you are on your best behavior?”
If Mr. Savage isn’t invited to speak to any more high school or college functions, it isn’t going to be because he is gay.
It’s going to be because he is RUDE.
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[Cross-posted at RedState]
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[Update 04/30/12]: Thanks to Stacy McCain for linking this post – and for solving the “mystery” of lesbians 😛 (Seriously, it’ll have you in stitches….). Thanks, also to Barbara Curtis at MommyLife for linking me as well!
Koch's Tour 
Teresa,
God Bless You and thanks for sharing your perspective with a loving voice! I’ve enjoyed watching you and your girls grow up, first through Beverly and now through Facebook and your blog. With three young adults on the autism spectrum, I understand the grieving process, but we learn to live with and accept the beautiful children God has given us. And just as you have done, we become the biggest champions for our kids.
I know all about watching people reject and mistreat my kids because they are “different.” And I know all about seeing my kids “bullied” because they make great targets (and are perceived as rude and distant and unsocial).
But through this, I have learned volumes, and now, in my aged wisdom, I now understand completely that people are NOT gay by choice just as my children are not autistic by choice. It’s part of who they ARE. And as Michelle has taught us, it is not ALL of who they are.
Unfortunately, many of our high-functioning autistic kiddos, now entering young adulthood, don’t yet have the strong voice that the LGBT community has now, but they are starting to rise up s-l-o-w-l-y. I’m also hearing the militant voices and observing the outrageous behavior of both groups, wondering how its going to work and how it might backfire.
I hope someday the autistic community can follow the example of the LGBT community (and the African-American community) by speaking up more to ask the world to STOP demanding that they become what they are NOT and STOP treating them as DISABLED.
I also pray that they can learn to share that message with grace and finesse (not big qualities for someone with Asperger’s Syndrome, I’m afraid) and manners, which will mean a lot of hard work for this population.
However, I must add, I don’t think Mr. Savage and his Bible-bashing has any excuse for being, as my boys would say, “MEAN.”
Keep up the good work. Keep praying for me as I’ll keep praying for you and yours.
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Thank you so much, Alison. I’ve learned so much from my friends who have loved ones with Autism – it is a heart-breaking road to travel, but it also has lots of joys along the way.
I know that there are many in the LGBT community who are fairly conservative – I wish they felt more comfortable in speaking up; a gentle message will go much further than a militant one will towards converting “hearts and minds”.
There are several gay couples in our neighborhood, but honestly you’d have to know who they are, because they aren’t the types who are in your face about it. They also get a lot more “done” politically precisely BECAUSE they are so low-key about it.
Best of luck to you and your family – prayers always!
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Rude and smarmy.
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OMG OMG your daughter is gay!!!!!!!!
Meh
same reaction i’d give a hetero, keep it in the bedroom please
I dont judge someone by what they like in there anymore than i’s want to be judged about that myself
to my unruly gay fellow citizens get over yourselves please
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I too have a gay daughter. I kind of suspected for a few years that she might be gay, but found out for sure when she sent me an e-mail to announce it. (She lives in another state.) I just told her that I wasn’t happy about her lifestyle choice, but it was between her and God and that I still loved her as just as much as I loved her sister.
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It’s been a little easier now that Michelle is “on her own” – as with her other sisters, what I don’t “see” is probably for the best.
It’s a little bit different when you are confronted with it 24/7.
Fortunately, she and her high-school “sweetheart” are still together – and will probably remain together – so we haven’t had to deal with a constant rotation of new girls to get used to.
The hardest part when she was living at home was trying to decide if sleepovers were OK and/or who was “allowed” up in her room – something you don’t have to worry about with heterosexual kids!
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If you don’t mind a different view here I think you are missing the point that Dan Savage is trying to make. Mr. Savage is loved and respected by millions. I understand that you think he is rude, but he will continue to be sought out by college and high school groups because he is an important voice. Dan Savage speaks clearly and powerfully on homosexual issues in a way that millions of Americans relate to. And he does it with humor and reason that many of us feel is needed in the debate.
I understand that you feel offended by what he says and how he says it. But the point he is making is valid. There is a animosity between Conservative Christian groups and LGBT groups, and the Conservative Christians are anything but peacemakers.
Dan Savages biggest project is to stop bullying. Homosexuals are victims of bullying (and no there is absolutely no comparison between what Christian kids face and what gay kids face). He has earned his prominent place on the national stage with this work.
Maybe you wish Dan Savage would shut up. But I really doubt he will.
Your wish that he will stop being a prominent figure that is loved and respected by millions and continually sought out for his voice by groups including college and high school groups; well that isn’t going to happen.
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Perhaps I should have been clearer in my post – I don’t have a problem with Mr. Savage (or anyone else) making a living however he sees fit. And I understand that “controversy” puts “asses in the seats”. It’s a free country.
However, Mr. Savage was invited to speak to a group of young, impressionable students at a JOURNALISM conference, not a conference on homosexuality. I am almost positive that the people (adults) who invited him to speak were not expecting him to lash out like he did. There is a time and a place for such behavior, and this was not it.
As a parent, there are certain things/words that I ABSOLUTELY would not say around my children when they were growing up. I fully expected that same “standard” in the adults who were entrusted with their care whenever they were away from home. I ESPECIALLY expected people in positions of authority to hold themselves to that standard, and I – along with many other parents – got very upset if I found out that those people had broken my trust.
I took (and still take) my parenting responsibilities very seriously, and that extended to my childrens’ friends whenever they were in my care. I always made sure that their friends’ parents never had to worry about the safety and security of their children whenever they were with me, whether at home or out in the community.
Most teachers and administrators hold themselves to that standard as well – I am sure that many of them were appalled at Mr. Savage’s behavior. I am also sure that had the people in charge known that Mr. Savage was going to do what he did that he would not have been invited to speak before this group of students.
The kids at that conference didn’t have a choice about who the keynote speaker was – they were there for a conference, and Mr. Savage was a PART of that conference. Unlike in other venues – like when a person specifically purchases a ticket to hear a speaker – they were (for lack of a better term) a captive audience.
In the free market – and in a free country – a person is not required to sit and listen to someone speak if they don’t agree with what they are saying. And they sure as heck don’t have to “sit there and take it” if they don’t like what they are hearing.
If audience members choose to leave, the person at the front of the room does NOT have the “right” to bully them for exercising their RIGHT to get up and leave.
I have no desire to “shut Mr. Savage up”; all I am saying is that there is a time and a place for behavior such as he displayed at this conference, and in this particular instance his judgement was sadly lacking – and will probably cost him some speaking engagements with “general” high school audiences.
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Thank you Teresa for your response and for being willing to have a dialog with me
I agree with you about several things. Students have every right to walk out in protest for any speaker they find offensive. And I agree that Mr. Savage was rude and wrong to attack them personally. I disagree with you about a couple of things too. Dan Savage is a known commodity who has been talking directly on these issues for years. Whoever chose him to speak knew exactly what they were getting. But then again, I think young adults who are interested in journalism should be exposed to ideas especially when they deal with areas of rapid social change. But that’s just my opinion and I am not here to argue.
I do want to offer another perspective. The message of Dan Savage is a lot deeper than you are giving it credit. It is a message that millions of Americans cheer. Sure, he is expressing anger and yes he is consciously offending people. That is part of what people relate to.
If you want to understand what it is like to grow up homosexual in modern middle America, there is no one who can articulate this better than Dan Savage. The anger is part of this (and if you think about it, it is understandable if not justified). You hear the cheering in the video… that isn’t trivial. There are millions of Americans who relate to exactly what he is saying.
And if you want to find an advocate for homosexual teens (and our homosexual teens desperately need advocates) there is none better than Dan Savage. This is why he is given national prominence in spite of the fact he offends people.
You can choose to see this as a juvenile squabble where two competing sides accuse each other of bullying. Any parent knows the “he started it, no she started” game. But then you will miss the deeper message.
Have you been willing to listen to his broader message particularly as it relates to your family? I am not suggesting you should accept it wholesale, but understanding is often very meaningful. This means being willing to listen to a very different perspective from yours. Once you get past the initial surface conflict, Dan Savage might be just the person to help you do this… that is if you want to.
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Max, sorry it’s taken so long to respond; my answer was so long that I decided to turn it into a blog post 😛
https://teresainfortworth.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/pointcounterpoint-with-max-on-my-dan-savage-post/
(I took the liberty of having a little bit of “inside” fun with a couple of the pictures – I found some guys named “Max” to include…..)
Thank you for being so kind and civil – I try to be that way as well (even if it doesn’t always “sound” that way).
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Dan Savage’s biggest project is to stop bullying
And I would submit to you that what he did is a textbook case of “bullying”.
If he expects other people to treat him with respect and dignity, then he absolutely MUST treat those same people with respect and dignity, whether he thinks they are deserving of it or not. After all, that is what he is asking them to do, isn’t it?
The fact that he doesn’t appear to understand this tells me that he isn’t really willing to practice what he is preaching – he is just as intolerant as the people that he is railing against.
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Max,
I’m pretty sure Teresa doesn’t want Mr. Savage to shut up, but rather wants him to practice what he preaches. You’d probably know that if you read her post, though. Maybe you did read it, totally understood it, and posted your strawman, anyway. I guess it doesn’t really matter since, either way, you’re refusing to address her points as stated.
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Mr. Savage’s “apology” was as lacking in careful consideration as was the original outburst.
But as an “expert” on bullying, he put on a fine demonstration.
I imagine that our friend Max found it quite brave. I might concur if he’d said the same kinds of things about the Koran and islam, but like a bully, he chose the safe target, and that is why he gets the golf clap, and a subdued “Oh my, how brave you are. Lashing out at other people’s beliefs, and then mocking them when they left, since they couldn’t respond in that forum. Really, courage like that is simply inspiring.”
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Yep.
Try saying that stuff in any Middle Eastern country and see if you make it out the door with your head still attached to your body.
“Brave” isn’t saying that kind of stuff in front of a bunch of polite 14-to-18-year-olds who have been taught to respect their elders….
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OK – if I understand this attack, it is that no one can criticize christianity because there is another religion in another country that is even worse.
Is that it, in a nutshell ?
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If you have the convictions of your cause, you have MY full endorsement and support, BUT if you use a worthy cause to push your personal agenda of hatred, FOAD
Mr Savage was invited to discuss the social media aspects of the “IT gets Better” campaign, NOT to take the opportunity to make Cheap Shots against people that would not behead,burn, or hang him. simply put, Dan Savage has become the very people that he rails against
and that is why ultimately i dismiss his childish angry rantings.
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No – I’m merely saying that if Mr. Savage is “attacking” one religion for doing something that he doesn’t like, then he damn well had better attack ALL religions that have the same philosophy.
And that is ESPECIALLY true when he is addressing a room full of prospective journalists, in light of the fact that they are supposed to treat all things EQUALLY.
As journalists, their ethical/professional code should be such that they don’t let their personal biases or opinions enter into the articles that they write.
Journalists are supposed to be objective bystanders who report what happens, nothing more. Opinion should not enter into a journalist’s writing UNLESS they specifically identify their work as an opinion piece. Unfortunately, there aren’t many like that in the field today.
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Well said, BiW.
If even half of what I’ve heard about Savage is true (not here, from blogs and radio) Max is in fact wrong about Savage being loved by millions. He’s left a swath of foul mouth diatribes many places and toward many people. An ass is an ass, and much like the color of your skin, I’m too lazy to care about who you sleep with unless you shove it in my face and force me to comment on it and then have the gall to call me a homophobe if I don’t like your tactics.
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In a nutshell, what Savage said was true. Christians ignore tons of things in the Bible – they pick and choose what they believe in and what they ignore.
And if they choose to, they can ignore the anti-gay BS. Many do.
Others paint anti-gay quotes on signs and picket funerals.
The students who were “offended” are the hypocrites – they ignore plenty of BS in the Bible while at the same time pretending that it isn’t there, and they aren’t choosing which passages they want to believe.
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Do you understand WHY those things are “ignored” now? The New Testament supercedes those edicts – Leviticus is an Old Testament book, written for a specific time period and a specific civilization. The thing is that Mr. Savage KNOWS that – he was raised a Roman Catholic. That HE chooses to ignore it speaks volumes about his personal willingness to omit facts that don’t support his arguments.
I don’t know why the Bible says that a man shall not lay down with another man – what I DO know is that laws are made FOR A REASON; I am not familiar enough with society back then to address why a law such as this might have been considered important enough to have been included in a written document.
What I do know is that a very wise man once said that if one comes to an open/abandoned field and there is a fence there, one would be wise to discover WHY that fence was erected in that particular spot before tearing it down – because another fence just might need to be built in that very same place later on….
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Trese, Leviticus was a survival manual for the diaspora
Pork, shell fish, etc rotted very quickly and not where you could tell, the prohibition agaisnt homosexuality is curious as there is no mention of lesbianism, all of the original texts use the words for Men specfically
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>Do you understand WHY those things are “ignored” now? The New Testament supercedes those edicts … blah blah
And yet those christian students pass out literature and wear T-shirts with those “superceeded” bible quotes attacking gays.
I suppose if Savage had said that parts of the bible were “superceeded” instead of BS they wouldn’t have been offended
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WP – I briefly touched on that in my follow-up post:
https://teresainfortworth.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/pointcounterpoint-with-max-on-my-dan-savage-post/
I don’t know why it doesn’t mention lesbianism either – they tend to comprise a much smaller “percentage” of the gay population, and I’ve heard gay comedians and columnists talk about how lesbians tend to be looking for a lifetime partner, and once they meet “Ms. Right”, they set up house together and settle down. They do that at a fairly “young” age as well.
My guess is – and it’s only a guess – that the young gay men caused enough trouble that the issue HAD to be addressed. I don’t know what they did, or why, but those laws were put in place for a reason. Most laws were put in place to PROTECT law-abiding citizens.
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idiotic BS from a “enlightened ” homosexual
sir to be blunt, you have NO idea what the Xtian bible says
let me help you
Simple guide to the Xtian and Jewish bible
old testament – original contract with the people of god
Leviticus – the original survival manual
new testament – Yeshua/Jesus transcending the old law
” i have NOT come to favor the law”
Mr Savage is the coward, where was the rant against radical Islam? could it be that western Civ and conditioned the Xtian and jewish people to respect divergent ideas?
tell yah what bucky, ill concider lumping those kids in to “Kamp Hypocrite” when Danny Boy takes his “It Gets Better Tour” to Iran or Syria. Until then STFU
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Actually, cowards tend to be people who censor opposing opinions on their blog 😉
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The only time that I have ever “censored” a comment is when someone goes on a profanity-laced diatribe.
I will contact that person by e-mail, tell them why I am not approving their comment (my mother and children read my blog, and don’t need to be reading that sort of stuff), and offer them an opportunity to submit another, more toned-down comment, which one or two of them have done (with their sincerest apologies for being so uncivil in the first place).
I have no problem letting those with opposing opinions have a voice here, as long as they don’t start acting up just for the sake of acting up.
I try to treat others with respect; I expect them to extend that same respect to me in return.
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actually sir, NO ONE has censored you.
Irony thy name is “enlightened Leftist”
ill make this very easy for you
simply put –
Dan Savage was contracted to discuss using social media for social campaigns, he used that opportunity to become a foul mouthed bully, the irony there is enough to choke a horse, then his sycophants flooded the net defending his indefensible actions.
IF Mr Savage had tried to do what he did in a NON western Civilization/Judo-Christain Nation he would have been killed
you Leftist spend so much time destroying the one thing that is saving your tender behinds that i almost WISH you clowns would get what you deserve, then again its my Xtian* duty to defend the weak, innocent or retarded.
* i am not a practicing Xtain or Jew, but i damn well respect those institutions.
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“I’m merely saying that if Mr. Savage is “attacking” one religion for doing something that he doesn’t like, then he damn well had better attack ALL religions that have the same philosophy.”
I’m unaware of that rule. It’s a new one for me. Is it published anywhere ? – I wonder, does it apply to preachers who criticise Mormonism and Islam or is it only a rule when one criticizes christianity ?
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its called RESPECT, something the radical homosexual or garden variety leftist wouldnt understand
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That’s true. Respect for BS is a pretty bad idea, although every religion wants it.
Luckily in the US it isn’t required – unlike those muslim countries.
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follow your own advice
THIS is the last time i will reply to you
You are now prattling and attempting one-ups-manship
i sincerely hope for your sake that you are never in a situation that will require getting what you deserve
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Patrick – You talk of “respect”, and yet you are not willing to employ it. You may think that religion is just so much BS – that is your right, and I am willing to respect it.
I, however, (and millions more like me in this country) do not consider religion to be so much BS.
That is MY right, and I expect you to respect it as well.
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>Instead of stressing the importance of getting ALL sides of the story, by singling out one particular group because of his personal hostility towards that group, he is setting a very bad example.
Actually he is just telling the truth. Gay kids in the US – and in his audience – are not being attacked by muslims or atheists or whoever else you think Mr. Savage should be calling out. They are being attacked by christians using these “superceeded” bible verses..
It seems that the best objection you have to Mr. Savage’s criticism is “well other religions are bad too and you don’t mention them even though it’s irrelevant to this audience”.
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When Mr. Savage chooses to call out only one particular group for their “practices” and pointedly omits another one – whose “penalties” are much harsher, I might add – it smacks of bias.
What I have a problem with IN THIS INSTANCE is that the audience to whom Mr. Savage is speaking is one that is full of potential future journalists.
Instead of stressing the importance of getting ALL sides of the story, by singling out one particular group because of his personal hostility towards that group, he is setting a very bad example.
The fact that these kids cheered does not bode well for a “balanced” press going forward.
Believe it or not, I DO have a problem with pastors who cast aspersions on other religions from the pulpit – a position which followers of Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farakhan don’t appear to share, given the number of times that they refer to the Jewish people as “evil”, “devils”, and/or “Satan”.
You would do well to understand that Islam is not only a religion, it is a POLITICAL SYSTEM (a state religion – something that our First Amendment specifically prohibits, thank God).
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Mr. Savage was invited (actually, he invited himself) to speak to a group of students about journalism.
Christian-bashing IS NOT journalism.
Mr. Savage is entitled to his opinions on Christians, but this was not the appropriate forum for it, as the people in the audience did not come to hear him speak about his animosity towards members of a religious doctrine. That’s not what they paid money to hear.
The funny thing is, though, that Mr. Savage is demanding that Christians tolerate homosexuals while at the same time saying that homosexuals do not have to tolerate Christians.
(P.S. – The word is spelled “supercede”, not “superceed” – I thought it was a one-time error, but you’ve done it enough times that it’s obvious that’s how you think it is spelled)
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Actually Mr, Savage is well known for one thing – if anyone expected a lecture on “journalism” I imagine they were appropriately disappointed.
And you seem unclear as to thinking that criticism of people who use “superceded” texts is the same thing as being hostile to christians in general.
After all, a lot of christians do NOT attack gays using “superceded” bible quotes and he was just pointing out the error of those who do.
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Mr. Savage is only “well known” by a small number of the general public; LGBT makes up only 3.8% of the population in general, and most of the remaining public is generally politically indifferent at best. Most straight people have NEVER heard of him.
At a conference attended by ~3000 students, that would mean that maybe 100 students in attendance were LGBT.
Honestly, I’m wondering what the organizers were thinking, inviting someone whose “appeal” is to such a small percentage of their audience, but that’s their business (literally), not mine.
After all, a lot of christians do NOT attack gays using “superceded” bible quotes
And yet, he is willing to tarnish ALL Christians with that broad brush.
….he was just pointing out the error of those who do.
How condescending of him.
Who died and elected him Pope?
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>”Honestly, I’m wondering what the organizers were thinking, ”
Maybe they were thinking their students needed an education.
Some of us think even straight people need to know about anti-gay
bigotry, and not just the “small percentage” of us who are gay.
>And yet, he is willing to tarnish ALL Christians with that broad brush.
He didn’t. It is the “christians” who defend the bashers, rather than
educating them, that manage to tarnish ALL christians.
There are so few “christians” willing to say that Mr. Savage is correct, even while pretending
that they personally aren’t prejudiced and things have been “superceded”, that
one could certainly get the impression that ALL christians are tainted.
>”Who died and elected him Pope?”
I’m confused – is the Pope an authority more than Mr. Savage ? Because he certainly
is a major gay basher and it is important to point that out.
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Homosexuality is an abomination against God. In other words, it’s not a good thing. BUT, God gave us his son who died on the cross for all of our sins and that IS a good thing, otherwise, we’d all burn in the fires of Hell with Satan for a roommate. 😉
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>”Homosexuality is an abomination against God.”
I have it on good authority that you are wrong – and “superceded” 🙂
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Good blog post. You’re an amazing mother for accepting your daughter for who she is; a lot of parents won’t even do that.
Personally, I always thought it was too bad that LGBT issues and conservative issues are perceived as mutually exclusive. Most political issues that affect the gay community are issues about big government. The lobbyists might go a step further and ask for special treatment, like hate crime/hate speech legislation, but most gay people don’t want or need that. They just want marriage equality. I don’t see how having two parents who love you conflicts with family values in any way, regardless of what gender they are.
See, here’s the thing, most people my age aren’t liberals because they believe in big government and high taxes, but because they perceive the right as pro-bigotry, pro-war, and pro-putting more people in prison. A lot of people I know realize that government is spending more than it takes in and we can’t sustain that, but that issue shouldn’t have to come with things like expanding the war on drugs or making legal immigration more difficult. I think the conservative coalition would dominate American politics if it weren’t for those social issues. As it is now, I know if Romney loses the election, it will because Obama makes the election about contraception and gay rights, not because the American people have any faith in Obama’s handling of the economy. It’s kind of pathetic that issues like that are taken seriously at all, but that’s just as much the right’s fault as it is the left’s.
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Thanks for such a thoughtful reply!
There are actually a LOT of gay conservatives – most of them keep quiet not because of how they will be treated by those on the right, but because of how they are treated by those on the left. I’ve heard over and over again that many gay conservatives have been absolutely lambasted by the gay community for being conservative – they “come out of the closet” as gay people, then have to hop right back in the closet for being Republicans!
And actually, a lot of Republicans don’t have a problem with civil unions – they just don’t want churches to be forced to violate their beliefs by being told that they have to marry gay couples. We go toe-to-toe with our daughter on this issue; I think we’ve just agreed to disagree on this subject….. 😛
As to being pro-putting people in prison, I think that you will find that conservatives feel that if society doesn’t enforce the laws which are on the books, then people start to feel like there IS no law. Thomas Sowell writes very eloquently about this – society has laws to protect those who follow them from those who don’t. So, yeah – if someone egregiously breaks the law (I’m not talking about minor traffic laws here), they need to be separated from the rest of society.
And I don’t know of any conservative who is against LEGAL immigration – it’s the folks who jump to the front of the line or who blatantly break the law that we have a problem with. Unfortunately, we will NEVER be able to “solve” the problem of illegal immigration until we crack down on those who think that they are better than those who wait their turn. “Illegal” means “against the law” – if lawbreakers have more “rights” than law-abiding citizens, then what’s the point of the law in the first place?
LGBT only makes up 3% of the population (and that may be on the high end); those who use contraceptives make up a small portion of the population as well (and I don’t want to be told that I have to pay for someone’s contraceptives when I know good and well that they are going to start to insist that we pay for their fertility treatments a few years down the road – it’s about personal responsibility).
It’s in the Left’s interest to make it appear as if those on the Right “hate” all of the different special interest groups. The fact is that those of us on the Right think that if everyone wants to be treated equally, then they can’t insist that they be treated differently…..
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