.
.
A Twitter war blew up the other night – lazy Capitalist that I am, I was laying on the couch, watching a TV show with my husband, so I missed all of the fun and excitement when Hilary Rosen – a highly paid spokesperson for the Democratic Party – temporarily lost her mind and made a bone-headed statement about how Ann Romney – the wife of the presumptive Republican candidate for President – doesn’t understand the plight of the Modern American Woman because Mrs. Romney has “never worked a day in her life”.
Bless her heart.
.
I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys. Believe me, it was hard work.
— Ann Romney (@AnnDRomney) April 12, 2012
.
Silly me – I’ve had the NOW mantra “Every Mother is a Working Woman” drilled into my head so often over the past couple of decades that I still bark it out like one of Pavlov’s dogs any time somebody tries to imply that the choice to stay at home while raising kids somehow makes a woman less deserving than a woman with a paying job.
Apparently, I’m not the only one, because the howls that went out across the nation have been pretty darn loud.
Here’s the thing, though – to hear Ms. Rosen talk, one gets the impression that she thinks that Mrs. Romney had servants to do all of the “dirty work” of parenting. That’s the picture that is being painted of the Romneys because they are quite well off at this point in time.
.
.
If reading Thomas Sowell’s works – especially “The Vision of the Anointed” – has taught me anything, it is that most “rich” people didn’t start out that way. Where a person is in one moment in time is an indication of how far they have come, and you cannot make blanket assumptions about a person without seeing the entire picture.
So I thought I’d do some background research, to get a better feel for the truth of the matter.
It turns out that the Romney’s “story” is probably much more in line with that of most American families, and it is a testimony to what makes this country truly great. When the Romneys were starting out, they were much more like what most of us think of as an “average” family – a young couple who fell in love, got married, had kids, worked hard, and after years of hard work were able to enjoy the fruits of their labors.
That is the American dream, right? It’s the reason that so many people from across the globe want to come to this country – because we are the Land of Opportunity.
.
.
In reading the story of the Romney’s early life together, it doesn’t seem all that different from most other young couples. In fact, when their kids were young, it sounds like they were living a modest life – first in a basement apartment (with their first child) while undergraduates, then in a modest house when Mr. Romney was in Law/Business School (sons #2 and #3). Sons #4 and #5 were born in the first 6 years after Mr. Romney received his post-graduate degrees.
While Mr. Romney was busy going to school so that he could improve his chances of making a good living to support his family, Mrs. Romney “had his six” – she made sure that he had a nice place to come home to, she took care of his children, and she supported him in his endeavors. Ask any happily married man, and he will tell you that there is no better feeling in the world than to know that at the end of the day, there are people waiting for him at home who love him and appreciate all that he is doing to provide for them.
.
.
The Romneys were making their wealth at the same time that they were raising their family – I seriously doubt that they were able to afford a live-in nanny and a score of servants on a student’s salary. The money came later, but it didn’t happen by accident – in reading about Mr. Romney, it becomes undeniably obvious that he is a VERY hard worker who has always been willing to learn how to make things better in the companies that he works for so that EVERYBODY can “share the wealth”.
And while Ms. Rosen was busy questioning the monetary value of the “job” that Mrs. Romney has been doing all of these years, perhaps she was hoping that people wouldn’t look too closely at where Ms. Rosen was when she was raising her children.
.
.
Make no mistake, Ms. Rosen has also worked very hard to get where she is. She has had a string of very successful jobs, all of which have presumably been progressively more lucrative. And while the Romneys had their children when they were still fairly young (when their first child was born, the Romneys were 24 and 22, respectively), Ms. Rosen didn’t become a mother until she was 41 years old. By that time, she was quite a successful career woman in her own right, as was her partner, Elizabeth Birch (who was 43 years old at the time).
In fact, both Ms. Rosen and Ms. Birch were so successful in their respective careers that they were well-known public figures in their fields by the time they adopted their children in 1999. They were most definitely not living in a tiny basement apartment, eating food out of a can while sitting on an overturned milk crate – if anything, THEY are the ones who were much more likely to have had a slew of servants taking care of their kids, cleaning their house, and cooking their meals.
.
.
Unfortunately for Ms. Rosen, her family situation is much further removed from that of the typical American woman than that of Mrs. Romney. Most couples in this country get married and start a family at a fairly young age, and most of them do not have the advantage of “piles of money” when their kids are young. They build their wealth the same way that Ms. Rosen and the Romneys did – by working hard and getting ahead. If they invest their money wisely, the miracle of compound interest almost always guarantees that a couple’s later years will be fairly comfortable.
Life is all about choices, and the choices that we make when deciding to raise our families are different for each family. These days, it is not uncommon for a mother to work outside of the home, and many couples put off having children until they feel more financially stable. The beauty of this country is that we are each FREE to make those choices.
.
.
For our family, when our oldest daughter was 2, we made a conscious choice for me to quit work and stay home with her. That was what I WANTED to do, and we found ways to make it work. It was our choice to do without some of the things that a second income might have allowed us to have, but for us the trade-off was more than worth it. And as our family grew, we continued to make that trade because it was what we wanted for our family. Along the way, we learned what things were necessary and what things were “wants”. And if we wanted something enough, we sacrificed in one or more areas to allow us to afford those little luxuries. That’s what all families learn to do if they want to be successful.
I have never regretted my decision to stay home with our children – it was my choice to do that. I have also never felt the need to question the decision of other women to work while raising their children – that is their choice, and I respect that. I have also known many women who wanted to stay home with their children instead of working outside of the home, and there are many of us who made that choice who are more than willing to tell them how we made it work for our families.
.
.
The Romneys made the choice that works for their family, and Ms. Rosen made a different choice which by all accounts also works for her family. In pitting one group against another – especially on an issue that hits so close to home – I fear that Ms. Rosen’s “side” has made a fatal error.
For you see, when I did my research, I started reading more about a candidate that wasn’t my first choice to be President. And the more I read, the more I realized that this is a good man, and someone who I would be very proud to have leading this country.
So thank you, Ms. Rosen – you helped make my decision a whole lot easier.
Mitt Romney has earned my vote.
.
.
[Cross-posted at RedState]
[Update 04/14/12]: Thanks to Robert and Smitty over at The Other McCain for linking me – you guys are the best!
[Update 04/14/12]: Thanks to Annabelle at The Crawdad Hole (and Peacocks and Lilies) for linking me at her brand new news aggregate site, The Power of Women – I think I’ve found a real kindred spirit…. 😛
[Update 04/15/12]: Thanks to Barbara Curtis at Mommy Life for linking me – I really appreciate it!
[Update 04/16/12]: Thanks to Beverly Zaslow at Politichicks for linking this post.
[Update 04/17/12]: Thanks to Nice Deb for adding this post to her “Tuesday Links” – what an honor!
Koch's Tour 
Pingback: On Casting Stones: How the “War on Women” convinced me to vote for Mitt Romney | RedState
Wish I could double-like this one!
I’m one of those women who, according to Mz. Rosen, never worked a day in my life… well, at least not since getting married and having kids. I’ve been a full-time mother for 33 years — something everyone told me couldn’t be done, back when my husband and I got married (“You have to get a job! You’ll never be able to survive one one income!”). I was determined to prove them wrong, and I have.
Along the way, I’ve endured endless criticism and scorn from feminists, elected officials who disdain women who are neither living on public assistance nor earning an income outside the home (the only two types of women they like), and even members of my own family. So I tend to be kind of defensive about the whole business, and if I had even normal blood pressure, I probably wouldn’t be able to listen to the news, because ignorant moronic remarks like Mz. Rosen’s would send my blood pressure soaring! Luckily I was blessed with low blood pressure, which comes in handy when I have to listen to leftist claptrap.
Ann Romney is going to be Mitt’s greatest asset in this campaign. All anyone has to do is compare Ann to the current first lady to realize which one we’d all rather have in the White House. I think almost everyone is sick to death of Michelle Obama’s constant hectoring us about our diets and how we’re raising our kids and so on ad nauseam. Ann strikes me as someone any real American would be pleased and proud to have as first lady.
LikeLike
Thanks for the “double like”! I’m sorry you haven’t had the kind of support that I’ve been blessed to have in my famlly and friends.
And I agree with you about Ann Romney – having raised 5 sons, I’m guessing she’s no pushover….
LikeLike
Oh, I get plenty of support from my husband and kids. It was my family of origin that I was referring to — specifically, my feminist sister who thinks I threw my life away, and my father who had an unfortunate tendency to evaluate every human activity according to how much money it paid. Motherhood not being among the higher-paid professions, he considered it pretty much a waste of my time. He would’ve liked me better if I’d gotten a “real” job and brought in some actual cash, instead of wasting so much time hanging out with my kids.
LikeLike
When our oldest daughter was born, I was still working, and I remember my Dad asking me how I could even think of going back to work and leave such a precious little angel with someone else.
Fast forward a few years, and he was getting on my case for not working so that we could afford “nicer” things.
I just looked at him and said, “Do you remember what you asked me when Rachel was born?”
He laughed – and never brought it up again….. 😛
LikeLike
you aren’t alone. My mom took five years off work to raise me and worked part time until my younger brother was in middle school, and we turned out better for it. It’s the most important job in the world.
LikeLike
Yep. Ironically, we found that our kids needed me at home MORE as they got older (especially the early years in high school). Plus, if Mom is at home in the afternoon when teenagers with raging hormones come around, it’s much less likely that “hanky-panky” will be taking place. 😛
Unfortunately, not all parents are as vigilant as others – I had to have “words” with a couple of them.
And there were some kids who refused to come to our house because I wouldn’t let them get away with stuff. But as I told my daughters, when someone else is trusting me with their child, I take that responsibility VERY seriously (and I expected the same from their friends’ parents).
The girls HATED it when they were growing up (“Mom, you’re embarassing me!”), but now that they are older, they have told me that they appreciate what I did.
It’s kinda nice…..
LikeLike
Now that mine are mostly grown up (youngest just turned 17), they tell me the same thing. I even get little messages on Facebook from friends of theirs, telling me I must be a really terrific mom, because I raised such wonderful kids. 🙂
LikeLike
Nice blog. I met a woman who, later in life started a business and became a motivational speaker. She noticed in programs, many of the other speakers had alphabet soup after their names, Phd, CPA, MBA etc. Now, she includes MOF in her resume. “Mother of Four.”
As a fellow stayed-at-home MOF closing in on 30 years of service, I thought you’d like the story.
LikeLike
I love it!
*makes note to start adding “MOF” to all correspondence….*
LikeLike
Maybe it will start a trend!
LikeLike
So when does Hilary Rosen tell a welfare mom that she’s never worked a day in her life?
LikeLike
It’s OK if Uncle Sugar is taking care of you…..
Mind you, Ms. Rosen and Ms. Birch “divorced” in 2006 (with joint custody). And if this guy is to be believed, their illusion of “idyllic motherhood” wasn’t all that:
Ironically, the hearsay, and it is hearsay, among DC lesbian Democrats who are mutual acquaintances, is that Birch and Rosen, who now have joint custody, wish they had not adopted kids, or at least not twins. BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO MUCH WORK!
http://is.gd/wk21dZ
LikeLike
What a great blog to stumble upon this morning! I too, have been doing my research on Rosen and the Romneys and came to many of the same conclusions you have.
When our fourth son was six months old and had just started daycare, I was laid off from my job of 12 years at a large software company where my wife also worked and was on a similar career/salary trajectory as i. While I had prospects lined up for new employment, we decided that it was a good opportunity for us to reassess our family strategy.
As we were considering how to proceed, we realized that the expenses of supporting two very demanding careers were very nearly equalling one of our net incomes, (not to mention that our kids were spending more time with caregivers than us!), and that our family would be better off if one of us became a stay at home parent. I won’t bore you with the details but in the end, we decided that I was the man for the job.
We sold our expensive cars with fat loans and free maintenance plans and bought a 15 year old Suburban which I maintain myself. We fired the lawn care service, weekly house cleaning service, and took the younger kids out of daycare and the older ones out of after-school care since I could do those things for us. We created a “daddy school” in our dining room and our little ones learned to read and write by the time they were four and our older ones are now getting all A’s and B’s AND they are good and respectful young men. We stopped eating out five nights a week and my wife began creating healthy menus and cooking main courses on the weekends. As her career accelerated, I learned to cook her recipes so she could come home to a hot meal rather than a houseful of hungry men.
In the end, and after taxes, we ended up doing BETTER financially than when we both had paycheck jobs. And when factoring in the benefit of having available parents, and a less stressful homelife for everyone, it’s clear we made the best CHOICE for US.
Recently, my wife was promoted into an executive role and in the future, we may be able to have some of the luxuries we happily gave up for our kids (like vacations instead of staycations!). We are looking forward to reaping the benefits of our CHOICE.
As far as Mitt goes, he will get our vote as well. Not just because of his work history, but also because of his political history. As a republican governor in an historically staunch democratic state, Mitt was able to promote legislation that appealed to the whole state, and not just his conservative base. Mitt has the best chance of uniting this country where Obama has only served to widen the rifts between us. Mitt also supports women with his actions. His Chief of Staff and Lieutenant Governor were both women as well as many of his trusted advisors. Compare that to the women that make 30% less than their male counterparts in Obama’s WhiteHouse!
Finally, as a businessman, Mitt knows how to MAKE money through STREAMLINING businesses, NOT by digging an even deeper hole, as Obama’s policies have. And when the economy improves, it improves for EVERYBODY, female and male alike.
A rising tide floats all boats, and I’m on board with Mitt.
LikeLike
David, I love your story! Congratulations to you and your family for coming up with a workable, sensible solution that benefited everybody.
LikeLike
I was unenthusiastice too, but I’m quickly warming up to Romney. I was thinking he was not much different from Obama himself, and seemed kind of flat. But I’m paying attention now, and leaning his way. If he picks a woman for VP, I’m all in. I’ll even donate & volunteer.
LikeLike
Teresa, my dear niece, I love your response to the working moms careless remark. You may remember when I was a working mom in our town and was one of the 25% working mothers during the 1950, 1960, 1970 years. Why are you working was a frequent question and I usually answered, because we need it instead off none of your business. And you and our friends and family witnessed John’s and my complete role reversals once he retired. The first time that I retired(?) was when my employer retired and we had just invested a chunk in our latest new home and proceeded with plans for a short mortgage. Then your Mom, prior to me, went back to college and earned a B.S. in Accounting and I also returned and earned a B.S. in Accounting.
Then some acquaintances made remarks such as noting that our family was slow starters. We had our dtrs almost able to totally take care of yourselves. We give lots of credit to their fathers and were happy when the fatherly figure was needed and there they were.
You know how I am when I get a mind set attitude, well I am here to state that I made up my mind to vote for Miss Romney from the beginning. It would appear that he really knows how to interpret a balance sheet as well as how to manage to have shared in creating the substance for the numbers.
LikeLike
Change those ss’s to tt’s. My eyes are getting worse.
LikeLike
LOL!
(I think I’ll leave them in, ‘cuz this comment is just too cute!)
LikeLike
Hey Teresa, saw The Other McCain gave you a link. Pretty good for someone who has never worked a day in her life.
LikeLike
My dirty little secret is that I shamelessly “blogwhore” my political posts. Every once in a while, one of the “bigs” will pick one of ’em up.
And “slut” that I am, I am always thrilled when that happens.
(Even though none of them have offered to pay to keep me from getting knocked up….. 😛 )
LikeLike
Yes, it is a horrid life that we have all condemned our housecats to –
I know that our lazy felines are happy that someone has finally shown the rest of the world their terrible plight….
LikeLike
Great piece, Teresa! I feel the exact same way. This little dustup has exposed the heart of the matter – you’re eaither pro-life and pro-family or pro-Obama.
And btw, Ms. Rosen and her partner are no longer together. The source I found said their relationship only lasted three years and now the twin girls they adopted are passed back and forth between them – meaning that they probably have more continuit with their daycare providers.
LikeLike
Yeah – I think I read that they “formally” separated in 2006; only 7 years after they adopted their twins. Ms. Rosen is now with Randy Weingarten (a real ball-buster, by all accounts).
(Unconfirmed) rumor has it that Ms. Rosen and Ms. Birch wished that they hadn’t adopted their kids because they were too much work.
The irony…..
LikeLike
OMG, that would be so much irony. So much. Typical rich white liberal stuff. Adopt a couple of mixed kids because it’s the right thing to do, then grow tired of them and have no way out. Children aren’t puppies, ladies!
LikeLike
Awww, I’m quickly falling in love with your mind, too, T! So delighted we found each other.
LikeLike
Whoops. This is Anna Belle, ftr. 🙂
LikeLike
That’s what I thought!
I used to think that I was the only one whose mind worked like this – that’s why I love the Internet so much; I’m not as weird as I thought….. 😛
LikeLike
Nah. It’s a Texas thang, I’m sure of it. People think for themselves there. I was steeped in it. So were you, apparently. LOL.
LikeLike
😛 ♥♥♥
‘Night, sweetie!
LikeLike
Great post as usual, TiFW!
LikeLike
Thanks, darlin’!
LikeLike
Pingback: Tuesday Linkage « Nice Deb
Very nicely done, my dear! My wife and I made the same decision when raising our 3 sons. We made the “sacrifice” of no new cars, big houses, the latest fad electronics, etc., but we have 2 grown sons that have never been in trouble, don’t do drugs, and actually speak to us still 🙂 The third just turned 12, but I see no reason why he won’t be the same 🙂 Having your real parents around is like the pearl of great price — well worth the “cost”.
Thanks for the buck up about Mitt too; I’ve been less than enthusiastic about him figuring he was just another McCain (it’s his turn, etc.). Unlike McCain, he seems to have a head on his shoulders, and best, a wife that won’t try and be unelected co-president (Hillary) or stick her nose into the way I lead my life (Moochelle).
LikeLike
Thanks! Yep – no better gift to give yourself than to stay at home with the kiddos.
LikeLike